Lessons: learning.

January 24th, 2009 by Leilah Feinstein

One fine Cusqueñan day, Little Leilah Jane was playing by the road, whistling a little tune on a little whim. Two small hobos came marching along, sacks over their shoulders and a look in their eyes of hunger and weariness. “Why, stop and rest, wontcha?” Asked Little Leilah Jane. “Per-squeak!” the travelers cried in relief. Little Leilah had never seen any hobo as small or hungry as these, and she was overwhelmed with curiosity. “If you please, sirs, what…what are you?” she asked. “Aha!” said one, pulling out an identification card and flipping it carelessly in her direction. It read: PARASITIOS, DIVISIÓN ESPECIAL.

“Who are you?” asked Little Leilah Jane. “Pa-fwee!” said the first parasite. “Pa-faw!” replied the second. And with no further ado they jumped on in her Little Leilah mouth! At first she thought the tickly feeling inside was sort of funny. But as time went on the tiny travelers began to grow bold, taking over her so willingly offered insides. They partied day and night, night and day, and left no wink of sleep to their kind Host. Little Leilah Jane was so angry that she kicked and stomped, stomped and kicked. This only made the parasites laugh, “Bafoo-foo-foo! Bafoo-foo-foo!” They giggled and wriggled in her Little Leilah tummy. One night, so loud and noisy was the Paraparty, that Little Leilah Jane decided to show them what’s what. “Ahem!” She yelled into the phone at the doctor, “Remove these strangers at once!”

So el Doctor, poking and prodding, prodding and poking, agreed to boot out the squatters. “But this is the free market, Little Leilah Jane,” said he, “and I will have you render a fee for such quality service! Before this fee is handed over, though, I would have you know you have also got Enterocolitis and an infection in your Little Leilah uterus. Should you request more information than that, I shall give you no words of comfort or explanation. Harumph!” Grumbling, Little LJ shoved the standard 60 soles into his waiting hand, plodded down to the lab, iggled another 25 soles to the Poop Analysis Shaman, and proceeded down the hall to empty her pockets of all but lint, and pass on another 42.80 soles to the pharmacist.

Penniless, Parasitical, and Perplexed, Little Leilah Jane dragged her Little Leilah feet back to her Little Leilah house. She took her Little Leilah pills, felt Little Leilah chills, and had a nice developing country nap.

Lessons: learning.